Older people from a slightly old-fashioned and conservative background in England, I have noticed, have not realised just how much adult culture has changed while they weren't paying attention.
In today's English society, it is profoundly inappropriate and offensive for any one adult to give a public 'dressing-down' to any other adult, regardless of whether one is in their seventies and the other is in their twenties. The idea that this sort of thing is appropriate is long out-of-date, and only adhered to by those without any real relationship with younger adult peers.
In just the last few weeks I received a loud, confrontational telling off from an older man in the street because he felt my car was parked too far on the curb of the road. I'm sorry to say the episode did not end peacefully. The truth is, his sudden (and rather obnoxious) headmaster-style telling off took me completely by surprise, and having had neither warning nor time to prepare for the onslaught, the older gentleman got a pretty offended reaction from me.
In today's English society, it is profoundly inappropriate and offensive for any one adult to give a public 'dressing-down' to any other adult, regardless of whether one is in their seventies and the other is in their twenties. The idea that this sort of thing is appropriate is long out-of-date, and only adhered to by those without any real relationship with younger adult peers.
In just the last few weeks I received a loud, confrontational telling off from an older man in the street because he felt my car was parked too far on the curb of the road. I'm sorry to say the episode did not end peacefully. The truth is, his sudden (and rather obnoxious) headmaster-style telling off took me completely by surprise, and having had neither warning nor time to prepare for the onslaught, the older gentleman got a pretty offended reaction from me.
Some friends of mine very recently received the same treatment (although over a different issue) in a similarly public setting. They all felt just the same afterwards as I had done; shocked and outraged.
I'm not sure if it happens upon turning eighteen, but certainly from age twenty-one onwards, in today's society all adults are peers, and outside of the military or a high-powered business setting, we are all aware that we should be treated as such. The level of insult implied, and aggravation provoked by an older person taking it upon themselves to deliver a good old-fashioned telling off to a younger adult, is on a similar level to if they had randomly hit one of my infant children. It's so insulting that many younger adults such as myself find ourselves either retaliating with some considerable force, or absolutely resenting that person for a very long time afterwards. What back in the day might have been relatively acceptable behaviour from older folk has now become a recipe for inspiring serious ageism among the less grace-giving, and for causing un-necessary resentment and relational schism in any given community where it occurs.
The generational divide can be quite easily seen, certainly among Christians and church leaders; it is rare to find someone in their fifties who will loudly berate a fellow-adult in any setting whatsoever in the church. It is not so rare the older you look.
Now as I approach turning thirty, I hope I can 'stay young' in my mindset. While I intend to age with dignity, and not spend my life trying to act like I'm still seventeen, I nevertheless want to keep my finger on the pulse of English culture, to have peers of all ages, and to know how to treat them in a way that inspires peace, rather than just venting a loud blustering rebuke onto them and destroying any hope of a resolution based on mutual good will.
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