Well, tomorrow I turn 27, which, as my Dad says quite often, is a significant age.
In the UK the average life expectancy is fractionally below 80 years at the moment. This means, that I have now left the first third of my time on earth behind me, and am into the second third. It feels like it too.
I feel like an adult now, almost entirely, which is weird.
Im now a husband, and a father. I think perhaps the significance of this birthday is that being a youth of any description is finally 100% gone. If the first third was childhood and youth, I suspect the next one will be family man time. From the prime of adulthood through to being middle aged, 27 - 54. Then maybe the last one will be being a grandparent, going from middle aged to elderly, from 54 - 81 (if I'm lucky!)
Today Joel rolled over from his back to his front four or five times, and back again, for the first time. It was incredible to watch. He also fed himself (very clumsily) with a baby spoon a few times today, another first!
As me and Sydney walked back from Morrisons this evening, she was carrying Joel over her shoulder while I wheeled the pushchair and carried the shopping. He was looking back at he over her shoulder with beautiful, wide, intelligent eyes, and giving me these huge joyous open-mouthed grins - it made me so happy. I realised in that moment that I want a big family. I want more children, and (Im glad to say) so does Sydney.
I wonder what I will feel and think when I start approaching 35, 40, and those years when apparently the old mid-life crisis is supposed to hit. What will I do between now and then? Will I look back with bitter regret or with pride? I think I've done pretty OK in the first third, I think for the most part I have tried to put God first, and at the end of the day, that is the main thing. For the first third it was very much all about me, as I was a youth, single, and pretty much just finding my way. The second third is going to be very different.
I am aware that if and when we have a larger family, the things I do will impact my children so hugely that it's terrifying. I know that I can scar a kid by losing my temper just once, there are times I might get angry or be flippant that will never leave their memories, and be upsetting to remember right through into their adulthood. In another 27 years Im going to have to look back over how I handled being a dad, and all the mistakes I'm pretty much going to make (being an imperfect human). I wonder if Ill be able to look back positively next time. Maybe, but only by Gods grace.
In the UK the average life expectancy is fractionally below 80 years at the moment. This means, that I have now left the first third of my time on earth behind me, and am into the second third. It feels like it too.
I feel like an adult now, almost entirely, which is weird.
Im now a husband, and a father. I think perhaps the significance of this birthday is that being a youth of any description is finally 100% gone. If the first third was childhood and youth, I suspect the next one will be family man time. From the prime of adulthood through to being middle aged, 27 - 54. Then maybe the last one will be being a grandparent, going from middle aged to elderly, from 54 - 81 (if I'm lucky!)
Today Joel rolled over from his back to his front four or five times, and back again, for the first time. It was incredible to watch. He also fed himself (very clumsily) with a baby spoon a few times today, another first!
As me and Sydney walked back from Morrisons this evening, she was carrying Joel over her shoulder while I wheeled the pushchair and carried the shopping. He was looking back at he over her shoulder with beautiful, wide, intelligent eyes, and giving me these huge joyous open-mouthed grins - it made me so happy. I realised in that moment that I want a big family. I want more children, and (Im glad to say) so does Sydney.
I wonder what I will feel and think when I start approaching 35, 40, and those years when apparently the old mid-life crisis is supposed to hit. What will I do between now and then? Will I look back with bitter regret or with pride? I think I've done pretty OK in the first third, I think for the most part I have tried to put God first, and at the end of the day, that is the main thing. For the first third it was very much all about me, as I was a youth, single, and pretty much just finding my way. The second third is going to be very different.
I am aware that if and when we have a larger family, the things I do will impact my children so hugely that it's terrifying. I know that I can scar a kid by losing my temper just once, there are times I might get angry or be flippant that will never leave their memories, and be upsetting to remember right through into their adulthood. In another 27 years Im going to have to look back over how I handled being a dad, and all the mistakes I'm pretty much going to make (being an imperfect human). I wonder if Ill be able to look back positively next time. Maybe, but only by Gods grace.
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