Over the last few days, several things have been dawning on me.
Sydney bought me an awesome hi-def video camera last year, and I hooked up my 8-track recorder to it, filmed myself and recorded the best version I could of my best 'party-piece' song, 'Crossroads'. I then mixed the track to a pretty decent quality, added effects and compressors, and listened back to my strongest efforts. They weren't that good.
I remember out in the states when I made a very high quality recording and sent it away to every Christian record label with an address listed in the whole US. I got one response, and that was just someone trying to sell me studio time. Not one genuine response. That is just one time out of the dozens of times I have sent away music demos to record companies, but never got a bite. Ive done it so many times, and each time I have made a demo I have given it everything - 100% of all Ive got, and every time theres just been no interest at all.
I was listening to TFM radio in the car the other day and a new song by Conor Maynard came on, who is a pretty decent artist for a teeny-bopper. Being a bit of a music snob I didnt think the song itself was that great, but I was totally struck by the fact that his voice was lightyears ahead of mine, and so was his performance. Even on a here-today-gone-tomorrow cheesy dance track, my absolute best efforts were well and truly whupped without a second look. That's when it dawned on me. The reason I haven't 'made it' in music is simple. Im not good enough at it.
Most people come to that conclusion early on, and without too much effort, but I have spent much of my life in the unusual position of being a somewhat above-average musician, a big fish in a little pond being constantly told i am good enough, and that the music I am recording is better than 'all that rubbish in the charts' by practically everyone. The truth is, now that I'm approaching 30 and can hear my own music alongside the chart music with adult ears, I know that in reality I've never recorded a single thing which touches the quality of most music which makes it into the charts.
The two things I have always aspired to have been either 'making it' in music, or 'making it' in the church. Making it in the church equals pioneering and or leading a ground-breaking and growing church at which you are the main preacher and are revered and respected. The truth is, I'm fairly confident that I don't have what it takes to do that either. The two great ideals I have always aspired to are just smokescreens to me.
I was thinking about these things, but I realised that the book of Ecclesiastes was right; there is nothing better for a man than to find joy in his weary labour all the days of his life, to eat and drink and find joy. I am privileged to live in the country I do, I am privileged to have enough money to live, to raise a beautiful family, and to have friends and good times.
I have been sold such a lie. It's the TV, Hollywood, the whole media culture in which we are immersed from day 1; 'by the end of the film, everything will work out, all your wildest hopes and dreams will come true, and if not you have been robbed'. That's not the truth. That's not life. I am privileged to be able to work, to have a family, and to enjoy my life. In fact, the Bible says that there is nothing better.
Sydney bought me an awesome hi-def video camera last year, and I hooked up my 8-track recorder to it, filmed myself and recorded the best version I could of my best 'party-piece' song, 'Crossroads'. I then mixed the track to a pretty decent quality, added effects and compressors, and listened back to my strongest efforts. They weren't that good.
I remember out in the states when I made a very high quality recording and sent it away to every Christian record label with an address listed in the whole US. I got one response, and that was just someone trying to sell me studio time. Not one genuine response. That is just one time out of the dozens of times I have sent away music demos to record companies, but never got a bite. Ive done it so many times, and each time I have made a demo I have given it everything - 100% of all Ive got, and every time theres just been no interest at all.
I was listening to TFM radio in the car the other day and a new song by Conor Maynard came on, who is a pretty decent artist for a teeny-bopper. Being a bit of a music snob I didnt think the song itself was that great, but I was totally struck by the fact that his voice was lightyears ahead of mine, and so was his performance. Even on a here-today-gone-tomorrow cheesy dance track, my absolute best efforts were well and truly whupped without a second look. That's when it dawned on me. The reason I haven't 'made it' in music is simple. Im not good enough at it.
Most people come to that conclusion early on, and without too much effort, but I have spent much of my life in the unusual position of being a somewhat above-average musician, a big fish in a little pond being constantly told i am good enough, and that the music I am recording is better than 'all that rubbish in the charts' by practically everyone. The truth is, now that I'm approaching 30 and can hear my own music alongside the chart music with adult ears, I know that in reality I've never recorded a single thing which touches the quality of most music which makes it into the charts.
The two things I have always aspired to have been either 'making it' in music, or 'making it' in the church. Making it in the church equals pioneering and or leading a ground-breaking and growing church at which you are the main preacher and are revered and respected. The truth is, I'm fairly confident that I don't have what it takes to do that either. The two great ideals I have always aspired to are just smokescreens to me.
I was thinking about these things, but I realised that the book of Ecclesiastes was right; there is nothing better for a man than to find joy in his weary labour all the days of his life, to eat and drink and find joy. I am privileged to live in the country I do, I am privileged to have enough money to live, to raise a beautiful family, and to have friends and good times.
I have been sold such a lie. It's the TV, Hollywood, the whole media culture in which we are immersed from day 1; 'by the end of the film, everything will work out, all your wildest hopes and dreams will come true, and if not you have been robbed'. That's not the truth. That's not life. I am privileged to be able to work, to have a family, and to enjoy my life. In fact, the Bible says that there is nothing better.
